Yes — you should go, even if you’re going alone. Solo travel isn’t a consolation prize for people without a travel partner; it’s often the fastest way to learn who you really are, what you actually want, and how capable you are of building a life for yourself in a new country. Thousands of women have started their au pair year without knowing a single person on the other side, and most of them will tell you it was the best decision they made.
Key Takeaways
- Traveling or au pairing alone often teaches you more about yourself than traveling with company ever could.
- Solo travel forces you to notice when you’re making choices for yourself versus for how they’ll look to others.
- Going alone isn’t a sign that something is missing from your life — it’s a sign of courage.
- You don’t need a travel companion lined up to start an au pair year abroad — most participants arrive solo and build their community once they’re there.
- Talking to alumni or reading real accounts of solo travel can ease the fear of going without a companion.
What I Learned by Traveling Alone
Before I understood this, I never considered solo travel. I always thought that solo travelers were “dumb travelers” because they were purposely putting themselves in harm’s way. Imagine if I never changed my outlook. I wouldn’t have moved to China or to Italy, I wouldn’t be who I am today. If I’d kept letting life — or society, peers, and family — dictate my decisions about travel, I wouldn’t have fallen in love with the world. The day I realized travel isn’t always meant to be something you post about, but rather something that fills you inside, was the day I learned you should always go, even if you’re alone.
Learning Who You Are When No One’s Watching
When you travel alone, you learn more about yourself than by doing almost anything else. You learn how you like to eat, how you like spending your time, what type of person you are, and what you truly need to be happy, among many other lessons.
When I travel alone, I’m able to sit under a tree and read my book without worrying that I’m not “traveling correctly.” I often get in my head when I’m traveling and find myself traveling for social media — it’s something I constantly battle with. Alone, I’m forced to be introspective and understand why I do the things I do when I travel. Did I go to that museum because I enjoy art, or because it would look good on my Instagram? Did I pay a little extra for the room with the balcony because I wanted to read in the morning, or because it would make someone else envious?
That may sound silly, but they’re questions you may find yourself asking simply due to the time we live in. One summer, I found myself living a little bit for others instead of myself. I had to force myself out of that mindset, and once I did, I had the most incredible experiences — traveling solo, for myself, according to my own desires.
“If you ever get the chance, go alone. Walk alone, travel alone, live alone, dance alone. Just for a night, just for a while. If you ever get the chance, learn who you are when the world isn’t demanding you be one way or another. Most people only know how to stand on their own if someone else will stand beside them. Don’t let that be your story. When you get the chance, know that the opportunity to walk alone, even for a bit, is a rare gift, one that will hand you insight that can change the course of your life.”
You Deserve to Go, Companion or Not
You should go, even if you’re alone, because you deserve to go. You deserve to see the sights you’ve always dreamed of, whether you have a travel companion or not. Going alone isn’t a sad “poor me” situation. Going alone means being brave, bold, and daring. It means caring more about your goals than appearances.
If you’re afraid of solo travel, talk to people who have done it before. If you don’t know anyone yet, read alumni stories or watch videos of people who’ve made the leap. Every single day, people all over the world choose to put themselves first and travel alone — and an au pair year is one of the few ways to do it with real structure and support already built in, whether that year takes you to Italy, Spain, France, or Australia.
Go alone because you only get to live this life once. Go alone because you deserve to live your life to your highest standards. Go alone because you can.
This post is adapted from the experience of a Rome Abroad alumna. You can read more of her writing on her personal blog or follow her travels on Instagram.
FAQ: Traveling and Au Pairing Alone
Do I need to know someone before starting an au pair program abroad?
No. Most au pairs start their year without a built-in friend group or travel companion, and build their community once they arrive — through their host family, other au pairs in the area, and the program itself.
Is it normal to feel scared about going alone?
Completely normal. Nearly every solo traveler feels some version of this nervousness before their first flight. It typically eases within the first few weeks, once you settle into a routine with your host family and new surroundings.
Will I actually make friends if I go without a companion?
Most people who go alone say this is where the real growth happens — you meet people you wouldn’t have met otherwise, because you’re not relying on someone else for company.
Is solo travel safe for young women?
No destination or program can promise zero risk, but preparation, a support network, and choosing a structured program over fully independent travel all make a real difference in how supported you feel while building that independence.
If this kind of solo growth speaks to you, know that you don’t need a ready-made travel partner to start your au pair year abroad — just the decision to go.
Kailee is an American-Italian photographer, writer, and traveler who fell in love with her roots and never looked back. She first lived in Rome as an au pair in 2019, an experience that changed everything. Since then, she’s explored over 50 cities and towns across Italy and now spends part of the year in her family’s home in the peaceful hills of Rieti. She currently lives in the UK, where she's working for charities, managing their socials. Deeply passionate about language, cultural connection, and soulful storytelling, Kailee shares honest reflections, travel tips, and glimpses of slow, intentional living around the world. Follow her journey at www.kaileesmart.com and use code KAILEE for $70 off your own RomeAbroad adventure.
